The door is closed except when the children come to play. The red rug is the only color I can see in this cold place.
Mama says the attic is our special room.
I don't like it. The rug looks like blood.
It does not. It looks like Christmas.
How I came to be here? I cannot say. There is no time here, no yesterday or tomorrow. There is only now, and I am alone. I am alone and I am forgetting, fading into some terrible forever.
Do we have to be here all summer?
That's the point, dummy. It's called vacation because you vacate.
You don't even know what that means.
I do so. It means to go away.
I don't like this room.
Because you're a scaredy.
I'm not a scaredy.
The children remind me of something. I almost remember. It is so cold here. So very very cold.
Aren't you cold?
It's summer.
How come I can see your breath?
Humidity, dummy. We’re two blocks from the ocean.
Well can't we go to the beach then?
Mama said to play for an hour.
For the first time I am not alone. I watch the children. They seem to ripple under water, their voices slow and blurry. But the girl throws off sparks. I move nearer. She looks toward me. I move nearer still. She shivers.
I got a chill.
It's all in your mind. Mama said to play.
What do you want to play? I have Barbies.
Barbies are for girls. We should do a puzzle. The shelf has lots.
I don't like puzzles.
How do you know? You never did one. See? It’s a picture of a lighthouse.
It's a scary picture.
Why is it scary?
There's a ghost in the window.
That’s the reflection of the moon.
It looks like a ghost.
Ghosts aren’t real, scaredy.
The sparks almost burn me. I move toward her head and begin to scream. She jerks and there are more sparks, yellows and greens. I catch the sparks in my mouth, swallow them. I can feel them in me. I remember now. Fireflies in a jar. It is like that. I keep screaming.
Did you hear that?
Hear what?
Somebody screaming.
It's the people down on the beach.
No. It's not happy.
I don't hear anything. Just do the puzzle. Work on the corners.
It's a terrible scream.
It's your imagination.
It is not.
Here's a corner. See how it fits?
I can almost feel myself, but she’s stopped sparking. I must make her spark. I gather myself up and fling myself through her body.
Ouch! You're pinching me!
I am not!
You are!
How? I'm all the way over here.
They are both sparking now, enlivening me with their fear.
The box!
I saw it too!
Let's leave!
I turn the key in the lock.
Mama! Mama!
Knock harder!
I hide the key
Let us out!
Mama!
They must never leave.
MAMMMMMMAAA!
LET US OUT!
Never never ever.